feeling so good, just the way that we do

Tue, 13 May 2008 06:32:51 GMT

So I had a blonde moment while trying to operate del.icio.us and accidentally searched "cyanei" rather than signing in, and I found out someone bookmarked one of my stories!!! The Ray/Gabe one! :D :D :D My day has so totally been made, I am so pleased. I've never had any confidence in my ability to write stories, so the fact that someone liked it enough to bookmark means so much to me! :D :D :D

But on a slightly less awesome note, someone else bookmarked my livejournal to read. o.O Does anyone else find that strange?

I mean it!

Sun, 11 May 2008 07:01:17 GMT

I just wanted to let all you crazy internet people know that you are all my very favourite crazy internet people. At first when I moved to this journal I missed my 200-person friendslist, but I soon realised that you people are the people whose lives I actually want to read about. Because you are awesome and crazy and my favourites.

p.s. you realityland people are pretty okay too.

Ignore this post and just stare at my icon. Andy Coop with a sloth! It's like all of my favourites.

Thu, 08 May 2008 10:00:47 GMT

So. I'm thinking about getting a second job. I'm starting to realise that my ~*~hopes and dreams~*~ aren't super reachable if I'm not even netting five figures (seriously, you guys, I didn't even break 10 grand last year, I am so poor). It is very hard to save any money when you make less than $700 a month and use material goods to soothe emotional wounds!

I am thinking this second job might be a Starbucks job. I already know how to barista so it wouldn't involve two months of anxiety while I settle in, and I already understand how they schedule so I'd be able to work it around Earls' scheduling, but the kicker is... how do I get them to hire someone who quit for basically no reason five months ago? And do I go with Newton Village or White Rock 2? Newton Village is closer to my home but it is in the opposite direction from Earls which is across the street from WR2. OH THE QUESTIONS. Also, can I handle it? I DO NOT KNOW.

PS doing my mother's taxes has made me realise that a college education is a Good Plan. She makes in an hour what I make in a day. I am not even exaggerating. All of you people should become dental hygienists, it's a pretty sweet deal.

Wed, 07 May 2008 21:29:47 GMT

So I've looked at the math a bajillion times and it turns out I can afford to buy myself a new iPod on Friday.

It will be my fourth iPod in two years.

I am going to have to superglue it to my body, you guys.

...

But I really want one.

Fri, 02 May 2008 10:24:01 GMT

EVERYONE CLICK ON THIS LINK!!

DO IT.

EDIT EDIT: ahaha in looking for more information on THE LINK ABOVE THAT EVERYONE MUST CLICK, I found out that it's been mentioned on Anderson Cooper 360, which... you guys, I found that link by googling "Silver Fox". *cackles*

Sometimes I think that Anderson Cooper exists to make me happy.

Thu, 01 May 2008 23:43:26 GMT

You know those times when you're just lurking on some terrible LiveJournal fanfic community and you click a link expecting to read some more terrible fanfic that will amuse you with its terribleness and you accidentally end up reading something pretty good and realise, crap, you just spent twenty minutes reading Serious Fiction about Keith Olbermann?

I hate those times.

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:09:29 GMT

I've been listening to the new Ashlee Simpson album almost non-stop since it came out.

A week ago.

I'm pretty sure I had indie cred at one point. Oh, cred. I will miss you.

(Seriously, though, it's awesome! And I keep having this urge to make an Anderson Cooper fanvid to "Boys" :D :D :D)

This is the high point in my life right now. That is so sad. /: /: /:

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 01:05:23 GMT

I'm amazed at how little I have to say. My birthday was pretty great, work is going pretty okay I guess, things with Gavin are kind of not going well at all but I don't really want to talk about it, things with my parents are pretty okay. That's basically it! Thought I would just update to let you all know I'm not dead. Because we all know five days without updating is cause for alarm.

PS: All AFI songs from the first three albums sound exactly the same. Which is why I love every one. I think it's a good system. If I ever write a hit song I'm just going to write album after album of the same thing. And when I want to do something different I'll start a new band. Or at least rename the old band. This plan is flawless.

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 21:25:10 GMT

Mom and I just shaved the cat. Ahahaha. He is so mad. And he looks like a miniature mangy adolescent lion. Ahahahahahahahaaaaa.

Photos soon! :D :D :D

WHAT ARE THE HAPS? THESE ARE THEM:::

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 20:36:33 GMT

Sometimes I re-read my own journal posts and laugh at my jokes. It's true, I think I'm hilarious.

In other news, I am really hoping today is payday because the prospect of income for the first time in three and a half months is almost more exciting than I can stand. I'ma get SHOES. And a haircut! And some Electric Sunshine Manic Panic so I can be just like Cyndi Lauper (really!), it'll be grand.

I think everyone at my place of work either thinks I'm dim or mean. HOW CAN I LET THEM KNOW THE REAL ME, GUYS.

Also, I know I've been talking about my birthday a lot, like, all month. It's weird that it's such a big deal for me, given that where I come from I reached the age of majority last year. But somehow all of the "grown-ups" in my life are gearing up to treat me differently, and I cannot wait to reach this magical age where suddenly my mother will consider me an adult. ALSO, PRESENTS!

PS: I love this song and I am so sad it didn't chart in America because it's amazing and this just proves that you people don't know what's what in music. And the CD comes out ON MY BIRTHDAY. I am so gifting it to myself.

Simple math

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:40:46 GMT

Going to work! So tired. Exercise =/= yay. Work =/= yay.

Tell me something that = yay.

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:51:22 GMT

More on the 'I am a bookkeeper' thing:

Usually my job is awesome because I make more than minimum wage and my mom is a pretty cool employer and she's pretty organised. But this year she apparently got mind-swapped with a giant slob and I've had to dig around through EVERY FILE EVER to find the missing December daysheets and all I get for this is banana bread. ): ): ):

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:04:38 GMT

Here is my life right now:

I am a cook. Sometimes I cook things, sometimes I wash dishes, sometimes I watch other cooks cook things and then later I cook them.

I am a bookkeeper. I file invoices and daysheets reverse chronologically and then I calculate income and expenses. Sometimes I organise things for tax time. Also sometimes I page through the daysheets looking for people I know and then I find out that Kristy's ex-boyfriend had pretty clean teeth.

I am a super highly social person with mid-social friends. I'm kind of coming to grips with the idea that my friends might be happy with seeing me once or twice a month and that doesn't mean they don't think I'm awesome or whatever. It's still kind of hard to not be super clingy, though, because I think twice or three times a week would be about right. I'm pretty sure this means I need more friends. I'm concentrating on being thankful that they're not low-social people like my mom, who would really only like to see her friends seasonally.

I have a lot of songs banging around in my head right now but it's kind of pointless-seeming to work on them without any recording equipment to put things together. And it's pretty frustrating to be a really musical person and have some pretty interesting composition ideas and have basically not a lot of skill to make the ideas happen. I know when I have my piano it'll be a little easier because I am a trained pianist at least, but even that seems less and less a part of me as time goes.

I'm pretty happy basically but my life seems kind of boring and weird to me right now.

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:46:47 GMT

Okay, so you know how people say that "Cellar Door" is the most beautiful/perfect phrase ever or whatever? They are wrong.

A billion spoons.

That is the best phrase ever. No, say it! Say "a billion spoons". It's better if the 'a' is a schwa and not long like some people say it. And it is glorious.

These are the insights I come up with at nine in the ~~afternoon~~ morning.

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 00:56:48 GMT

A completely unimportant fact which is true: In my head, Batman looks exactly like a cross between Hugh Hefner and Neal Cassady.

In other news: Today I made tiny chocolate cupcakes. I love cupcakes.

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 19:24:47 GMT

Apparently some people get annoyed when I don't post for five days. ♥, who knew.

Also, K. Rae wants to hear about my fatty bootcamp, so here is that:

Mom and the ladies at her dental office decided to do a fitness bootcamp and she just signed me up with no warning. Luckily a lot of the other ladies did the same to their men and young'uns so I am not alone! Unluckily, I will have to go on my birthday, and thusly I will be celebrating my legal-status with people fifteen years older than me who will do the "awwww it's cute that you're drinking!" thing that people do. However, my bum is about 34% more awesome already.

Thing 2 on the list: I got myself a job!

I'm now a cook. At Earls. And I'm very worried about this because I don't know how good the training is and I'm a huge ditz. I don't think they'll be giving me the amount of hand-holding in training that I'm used to/need. And I think they'll all think I'm an idiot for the first four months or so because it takes that long for me to figure things out to the point where I don't have to ask a million stupid questions. ALSO, I didn't factor in the fact that I'm OBJECT BLIND and won't be able to find anything! At least at Starbucks people were used to me asking them to find me things that were in the most obvious places. I start on Wednesday doing portioning, and then on Sunday I am a dishwasher, and then the next day I am making appetisers. Or as the head chef (who is a hilarious Spanish guy) says, "appeTYzerz".

I think that's mostly it for news! Tell me about your week.

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:14:08 GMT

So today I was thinking, hm, I haven't listened to 5o4 plan in a while, and went to put it on and ALL MY 5o4 plan IS GONE. GONE! I don't know where it went!!! It just disappeared. D: I don't know when I last had it, even. D: D: D: Who knows what other music I could be STEALTH-MISSING. I thought 12 GB seemed awfully small for my music collection. D: D: D: THERE ARE MONSTERS IN MY COMPUTER STEALING MY MUSIC.

D: D: D:

That's not even particularly easy to find music. If any of you have 5o4 plan music kicking around I would be so pleased if you would share it with me!!

D:

Welcome to my ridiculous issues.

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 01:20:08 GMT

So, I totally just got stood up! But he called and was all, "I'm so sorry, I have to write an essay, tell me about your week," so I can't even throw a bitch fit and break up with him over it. /: But seriously, he's like, "I'm sorry, I really wanted to hang out," and every time he says the phrase 'hang out' (which is a lot, because he is allergic to the words 'date' or 'see you') I want to poke him in the eye.

I wish we had mutual friends to I could get someone to tell him that. Because I am the world's most passive aggressive person ever.

If you're going, then go, go, go, go.

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 03:53:40 GMT

A few people have mentioned that they'd like to know my thoughts/reactions/opinions to Panic(!)'s new deal, so here's that:

So, as of this writing I have only heard two songs from Pretty. Odd. ("Nine in the Afternoon" and "Pas de Cheval") because it was meant to be my birthday present and I was saving myself for the unwrapping/looking at the album art/reading the liner notes experience, but unfortunately poverty got in the way of my dreams so I've downloaded it and will wait until I have money/a job to buy the thing. I want to hear it now! But I got the bright idea to listen to Panic!'s entire ouvre before hearing Pretty. Odd. so I've actually got an hour to wait.

Listening to Fever right now, it's crazy how much I still love this album. It's far from perfect, but it's so good, omg. It brings up an issue that's sure to come up with Pretty. Odd, though; Ryan Ross is a spaz who commits fully to a genre before switching gears after about six songs.

Pretty. Odd. came about because the band decided to scrap the Cabin sessions and follow the direction of "Nine in the Afternoon" rather than have an album that was split in style like Fever or try to make past and future songs conform to each other. But this wouldn't be a problem if Panic! wasn't constantly rushing the writing process by a) having super early deadlines or b) touring for more than two straight years without writing a single song in the mean time!

The first half of Fever is not only emo-tinged dance punk, it's highly successful emo-tinged dance punk. Had they been allowed more time to work out the kinks on the first five songs and maintained that style for a whole album, they would have ended up with something more polished (a la "Lying is the Most Fun...") that would have taken Panic! in a completely different direction than they ended up going. The cabaret style on the latter half of Fever shows more sophisticated instrumentation and ambition and it's not like there were months worth of growth in musicianship between the recording of the first and second halves of the record. Working that instrumentation and ambition into the first five songs (I say five because I really think "Lying" embodies what I'm talking about) instead of abandoning them as "done" and going off in a new, completely unrelated direction would have made so much more sense. I definitely think that the album would have been more cohesive if they'd played live before recording, because the way they arranged (and rearranged, and rearranged - seriously, boys, two years of touring is TOO MUCH TOURING WITHOUT NEW MATERIAL) their songs for the stage a) was less schizophrenic and b) showed more sophisticated instrumentation (I'm going to apologise now because I'm sure that phrase is going to show up way too much in this post: sorry). To conclude: though I love Fever so much that I listened to it exclusively almost every minute of every day for nearly a month, it's really two albums mashed together (and not even very well - "Intermission" sounds like it took three minutes to write and record), one of which comes across as basically unfinished.

So then they took their eleven songs, six they thought were good and five they thought they rushed, and played them OVER AND OVER FOR MORE THAN TWO YEARS. I remember in 2006 Ryan saying they were going to record soon, moving more in the direction of "Build God, Then We'll Talk" which would have made COMPLETE SENSE. Yes! That is what you should do! Go into the studio and record us some more punk cabaret with touches of emo and dance! Lovely! But no, instead they TOURED FOR ANOTHER YEAR. ON WHAT PLANET DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? By the end of it they're completely sick of every song on Fever and never want to play it or anything like it again.

I still haven't heard Pretty. Odd. yet because I'm working my way through the live tracks in the intervening years, and I am blown away by the musical talent of these boys who are my age, holy crap. Brendon's so so so talented at arranging, and I really think the greater success of the last half of Fever is due mostly to his having a greater say. And Spencer is freaking amazing and why those crazy boys ever thought drum machines made sense I will never know. But instead of figuring out new ways to play the same eleven songs and coming up with new songs to cover and touring every city in the world three times they should have had their talented asses in the studio. Instead they're going to get flack for the stylistic 180 when it's been three years since they last recorded and the difference between 18 and 21 is massive.

The reason Pretty. Odd. is a complete departure from Fever is because there should have been an entire album between them.

And here we are! "We're So Starving"! Thanks for assuaging my fears that you've all been bodyswapped! I think the LiveJournal group is less alarmed by the big genre change because we've all paid a creepy amount of attention over the past three years. The change was more gradual to us because we had our faces pressed to windows and our moods determined by haircuts. It's kind of sad. On the other hand, this song is kind of hugely lame. Even though it has what I have always wanted for Ryan Ross - guitar! Thank you for proving to me that you know how to play your instrument. ~~Unless Brendon played it for you.~~ (Seriously! Musically, this could have been its own song, but lyrically it's super super lame. Laaaaaaame. Semi-retarded lame.)

Love love love "Nine in the Afternoon". Was sold as soon as they grew beards and started wearing plaid. However, Dear Ryan Ross: You look better with eyeliner on.

"She's a Handsome Woman" is a terrible song title but holy crap the vocal harmonies! The interplay of piano and guitar! The Beatles influence! Man am I ever glad these kids saw Across the Universe.

"Do You Know What I'm Seeing?" is really well arranged. This one is shaping up to be my favourite, I think. :D

"That Green Gentleman" is another really terrible song title, but I guess that is at least one thing that is comfortingly unchanged ("I Constantly Thank God for Esteban"? Really?) This song sounds very Hush Sound to me, what with the traditional pop piano and the vocal harmonies. Guitar solo! I've always wanted Ryan Ross guitar solos. Having to hear the first one on a Fall Out Boy record was a sad moment for me, not gonna lie. I can see why this one is going to be the second single! Definite radio material.

"I Have Friends In Holy Spaces" reminds me of Cinderella. :D :D :D Oh Brendon, stop dating girls.

Gah. "Northern Downpour". So gorgeous. I love this song so much I will excuse the lame refrain. Might I use the phrase sophisticated instrumentation? I think I might. Also let's talk about the arrangement on this song. Strummy accoustic guitar! Then piano! Then bass! Then vocal harmonies! Drum fill aaaaaaaand... lead guitar! The whole thing really draws you in until suddenly there is a tambourine and your soul belongs to Panic At The Disco.

"When The Day Met The Night" is harsh reminding me of The New Pornographers. If Panic! doesn't listen to the New Pornos they definitely should. Again, yay vocal harmonies. Yay for this band being happy and not writing about alcoholism, child abuse, strippers and whores. I really dig the drums on this song. They're supportive for most of the song but then there are these tom-heavy sections that sound a bit like the world's happiest thunder.

I'm really fond of "Pas de Cheval" because form matching theme matching content makes me happy (the guitar and drums are galloping! It's awesome!). Also, the vocals are bitchin'. I really wish they'd made this the first song and ditched the lame meta "We're So Starving", though. "Pas de Cheval" would have worked there thematically as well as sonically and wouldn't have been a semi-retarded attempt at topical irony. The breakdown into the guitar solo is fantastically rock'n'roll, and then guitar solo! :D :D :D!! Over all, actually, this song is so totally rock'n'roll.

Whooooa, way to go in a new and awesome direction for "The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know"! Brendon is my favourite forever and ever. Forever and ever. Again reminding me quite a lot of Disney, but in a sophisticated way. This one makes me think of The Little Mermaid. And that is why Brendon is my favourite forever and ever. Are those handbells I hear? I think there might be handbells. Holy crap, I thought I could not love this band more. Handbells.

Ryan learned to sing! That's awesome! I've always thought he sounds a bit like Tom Delonge, honestly. Only now he actually sounds like Tom Delonge, rather than a Tom Delonge who can't sing. "Behind the Sea" reminds me hugely of The Shins' Wincing the Night Away, not least because of the ocean theme. I can totally picture a Yellow Submarine-esque film project, ahaha. P.S. Marching drums are totally the way to my heart, even if they come in just as the lyrics read "marching drums".

"Folkin' Around"!!! "Folkin' Around"!!! If it had lyrics about communism or the inevitability of sadness or dysfuctional relationships that would be a Bright Eyes song.

Aw, "She Had the World"! Ryan!!! Awww! That's adorable. And those singing lessons really paid off. Awwwww. Awwww. I really hope he can hold his pitch live, because I've love to see how they arrange this song without an orchestra.

"From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins" is an excellent title. A toe-tapping song if I've ever heard one, this makes me think of Wild West saloons. Again with the really awesome vocal harmonies. Great hook, too. Kind of ultimately unmemorable, though.

"Mad as Rabbits", on the other hand, is an awesome song. Love love love love the instrument choices. Love love love. Also love the vocal harmonies, but that might be a theme, here. LOVE. This song is a really fantastic finale. Any song with "doo doo doo" in the background vocals gets extra points. Who could ask for any more? You raise a good point, Ryan.

So basically, I really really really like this record. I think it's fantastic. I even think it makes a whole lot of sense as a logical extrapolation of their early work, in so far as it makes sense that you can get to the ocean from the plain but if you don't pay attention while you walk there you're going to be mighty confused when you open your eyes at the end of the trip.

To conclude: The answer is correct, but they'd've got more point's if they'd shown their work.

Feel free to argue some of the thoughts expressed here, I think I've really worded things in a weird and possibly unclear/contradictory way. In fact, I think I maybe sound like a tard and don't make sense. WHATEVER, YOU ASKED FOR MY THOUGHTS.

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 04:10:57 GMT

A fact which is true:

I wish I could grow a beard. That would be all kinds of awesome. Especially with my current asymmetrical hipster haircut. Can you dig it? I would have such a glorious beard.

Photo Meme!

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:15:51 GMT

for lovepoopy,

Kitchen sink, complete with frying pan (I made french toast).

The best places to make/draw/write stuff are the left-hand side of the living room couch or my bedroom floor.

Three precious things for the price of one! My polaroid camera, a copy of Brand New's Deja Entendu, and my bass (Ollie!!!). If you held a gun to my head I'd pick the bass.

I. HATE. MY. CELLPHONE.

This is my bedroom floor. It is not dirty, it is arty. Dropcloths are for squares.

My red tie! I almost never wear it because I have only one button-down shirt that I actually like.

These are my wallets!

The plain black one is for putting in my back pocket when all I need to carry is cards and cash, and the blue and red one is for when I really need some unicorns in my life. And for when I need to carry large amounts of change for the bus.

for trolleys:

Orange bowling shoes and an orange painting. Not gonna lie, there is a fair amount of orange stuff in my room.

PS: Keep asking for pictures! It's fun and makes me think. Original request is here.

Stay tuned for photos of my cat! Because everyone loves those!

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:35:35 GMT

I have become addicted to Rock Band which is sad and unfortunate because I don't actually own Rock Band and there is only so much time I can spend at my aunt's house before I have to pay rent. I think my sightreading (on drums, at least) might actually be improving as a result. That is more than I can say for most video games!

I'm uploading all of my CDs which are currently not uploaded! It is taking forever because I have far too many CDs. But it's also wonderful because I'd forgotten how much I like Limblifter!

Oh, and actually I opened this box because I want you people to make me take pictures of stuff! So snoop around my life! Ask me to take a picture of something, anything, and I will! It can be anything. Under my bed, my sock drawer, the first thing I see when I wake up, my left hand, whatever! And then I can ask you! (you can still ask me to take a picture if you don't have a camera, just let me know if you can't reciprocate!)

Seriously. Give me something to do to distract me from the Rock Band withdrawal.

What I learned this week: Dancing is about sexual confidence!

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 03:55:01 GMT

Today I noticed that my abusive self-talk (the things I say when I am alone! Or sometimes on the bus!) has changed from, "FUCK, you're a loser!" to, "SMACK! SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!" As in, I actually hiss "SMACK!" out loud. It's pretty ridiculous. I ... am going to have to try really hard not to say that on the bus.

Tangentially, "bus" is, I'm told, the most difficult English word for native Spanish speakers to pronounce.

PS: Hawksley Workman yesterday! The show was pretty fantastic, except for how no human being was ever meant to sit in a pew for four hours. The church was definitely atmospheric (and had amazing acoustics), though.

Allison dances like my mom.

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:11:31 GMT

Kristy does a hideous horrible dance. We have named it Horace.

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 08:10:22 GMT

So! Tonight I went over to Gavin's house and met his parents and some of his siblings and we noodled around on guitar and watched Across the Universe and we tried the kissing thing again and it was super awkward and I was like, "that was awkward!" and he was like, "yeah, but not as awkward as last time when I, like, accosted you!" and I was like, "that's true! I need warning!" and he was like, "let's try that again!" and I was like, "*laughs hysterically*" and then we decided to try again next time.

You guys, this relationship is doomed. Together we are awesome and magical like tiny woodland creatures but we suck at the kissing. We are seriously the two most awkward people in the universe and the fates have put uss together. It can only end badly.

In similar news (re: awkward togetherness) I saw Ian today and he said my haircut was awesome and we talked about tattoos and how he is still too much of a wimp to get one but he might be convinced if I draw him a picture of a bunny-pirahna attacking a robot with a broken heart. That's right. A bunny-pirahna. And a robot with a broken heart. You will know me better on the inside when you understand that it is precisely things like this that make me want to stick my hand down Ian's pants.

To conclude: I'm cockblocking myself with Gavin because I still think Ian is made of awesome. And now he's single and unbaggaged and would go out with me and I got myself a boyfriend.

Crap.